Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Carded
I got carded today at the grocery store. I use the self checkout lane because I have poor social skills and chit chatting with the cashier gives me the heebies. Except for that one Friday night in New York when me and the guys were loading up on liquor for a long weekend of drinking up at Lake Chautauqua and the CLEARLY underage chick clerks were having one of those phony, 'hope you overhear' conversations along the lines of, boy I sure wish we could find a party to go to. That was cool. Wait, no, that gave me the heebies too. Oh yeah, and then a few months later the story broke about the drug dealer who infected half the young girls in the Chautauqua area with AIDS when they had sex with him in exchange for drugs. The moral of the story is: don't get duped into supplying alcohol for underage girls in exchange for sex, even if they are hot.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah.
When you buy beer in the self checkout, someone has to come over and hit a button that says you are old enough. I swipe the beer first, so that I can keep working while waiting for someone to come over. So here comes the lady from behind me and she says, "Can I see your ID?" I turn around, reaching for my wallet, and she says, "Oh." Long pause. "You looked younger from behind."
I don't even know what to make of that.
What was I talking about?
Oh yeah.
When you buy beer in the self checkout, someone has to come over and hit a button that says you are old enough. I swipe the beer first, so that I can keep working while waiting for someone to come over. So here comes the lady from behind me and she says, "Can I see your ID?" I turn around, reaching for my wallet, and she says, "Oh." Long pause. "You looked younger from behind."
I don't even know what to make of that.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
2012
So everyone says the world will end in December of 2012, due to the fact that the Mayan calendar ends then. We know this to be reliable information because the Mayans were so successful in the long run. You know what? I buy a calendar with pictures of kitty cats on it every year, and each year it ends on December 31st, and to my knowledge, the world has not ended on December 31st of any year. So for the folks that believe this, gather up the canned goods, lock yourself in the shelter, and we'll... uh... we'll let you know when it's safe to come out.
For the record, the Mayans were quite excellent astronomers and their calendar is based on repeating alignments of celestial bodies. Their long count of these events (a period of roughly 394.3 years) happens to end on December 20th, 2012. The long count marks our cyclical alignment with the galactic plane which last occurred in 1618, a year in which the world also did not end.
Their calendars had to be carved in rock, so my guess is that they just got tired after making so many copies, or figured that they had plenty of time to carve the next cycles.
So in summary, if you believe the world will end on Dec. 21st, 2012, you are an idiot.
For the record, the Mayans were quite excellent astronomers and their calendar is based on repeating alignments of celestial bodies. Their long count of these events (a period of roughly 394.3 years) happens to end on December 20th, 2012. The long count marks our cyclical alignment with the galactic plane which last occurred in 1618, a year in which the world also did not end.
Their calendars had to be carved in rock, so my guess is that they just got tired after making so many copies, or figured that they had plenty of time to carve the next cycles.
So in summary, if you believe the world will end on Dec. 21st, 2012, you are an idiot.
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